Don’t Learn This Life Lesson The Hard Way Like I Did

An observation about finding in life that which you go looking for

Photo by John Tallent on Unsplash

Reflecting on my trials and tribulations of the the last year I have stumbled across a valuable lesson that I want to share with you all today. It is this lesson that I have been mulling over the last couple of months since I last wrote to you all. It is now that I have put some healthy distance between myself and those events I suffered through, that I’m able to now get this all down on paper and share this with you all. I wouldn’t wish any person to learn this lesson the hard way: like I did.

In Life, you will always find that which you seek.

Now, bare with me here: this isn’t some “Law of Attraction” lecture! No, I’m not talking about material, physical things, I’m talking about the flavour that seasons the events of your life. I’m talking about happiness.

Because happiness is what makes life worth living, isn’t it?

I think we tend to naturally seek the negatives in any situation we’re in: and then when sometimes whatever tragedy we imagine doesn’t transpire we are pleasantly surprised. This perhaps stems back, like much of our psyche, to the times of Cavemen with bows and arrows where every day was a fight for survival. The human who sought the venomous snake in his cave whenever he entered would never be bitten in his sleep the one time there actually was such a beast lurking in the dark, but the lackadaisical caveman who strolled haphazardly in and out would eventually befall such a fate.

Cue the next 15,000 years of actively seeking out the predator in the dark.

The problem is we don’t live in caves any more and whilst life will always fundamentally centre around suffering and the struggle for survival, the threats that lurk around the corner are not what they once were: they require a different response.

I’ve found myself wondering in recent weeks that there must be more to life than this: going constantly from crisis to crisis, from pillar to post.

Nowadays when we walk into a room the threats to our survival are different. A toxic co-worker perhaps? Or targets going unmet? Or when not in work and going to the bar with your mates, is there a creepy guy looking to creep all night? Or someone looking for a fight?

These may all be present and more, but within those same rooms are positive things, things that we miss because we’re so busy looking for the bad stuff- even if (sometimes) it’s not really there! When we miss those positive things we miss out on the happiness they bring and the opportunities that stem from them.

But whatever it is you are looking for, you are guaranteed to find it.

If you walk into a new job expecting to be miserable you will find that misery, but if you walk into your new job seeking happiness and fulfilment then somewhere there no matter what the job is, you will find it too. It’s about your mindset going in.

So decide what it is you wish to find and seek it. This will make for a happier and healthier life.


Hey all, thought I’d pop in a little personal message at the end of this post to say a massive thank you to everyone who’s following me on this blog: you guys are great! Each and every one of you! If you’re new here, welcome! Don’t forgot to follow me on WP here to get my latest articles straight to you! It’s been a while since I’ve lasted posted, my 12 months of hell thankfully ended earlier in March and I’ve emerged victorious, stronger and wiser for it. All is better now and I’m slowly putting some distance between me and those events: which thankfully are now firmly in the past.

I guess what I’m trying to say, is things do get better eventually: no matter how bad they seem at the time. So don’t give up, ever. Keep on smiling and better days will come.

Check out my most recent article over on which is a broader take on the concept I have discussed today (4 Steps I Took to Become the Architect of My Own Life) and don’t forget to let me know in the comments below what you think and follow me here for more!

Lot’s of love,


I Poured My Heart and Soul into it… and it Finally Got Published!

Between protracted shifts and little sleep, finding the time to write has been really challenging. This is why I was extremely elated when I discovered that one of my articles from late last year about the importance of setting boundaries was picked up by a member of Medium’s staff and republished in their official, featured,…

Published by Mike

Hi I'm Mike! I'm a Progressive Christian and I work on the front line in the Emergency Services in London. I live with my wonderful partner in a quiet little town just outside of the city, 🇬🇧. I'm a writer over on and I blog about my writing journey, books/the literary world, the faith, the mind, the heart and the soul as well as all the other day-to-day adventures I pick up along the way!

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